That's it: I should get in the car and reach the shore - but not the same shore this song reminded me of until now, Santa Monica. 

But who is the worst woman at all? Who is the worst mother at all?

Sometimes I feel like I had killed my only child or better, if my grandparents, my parents and me together, we had killed our descendant 20 years long. My grandparents complained that they had to pay a lot for the family of my father - and they should not, it was their duty. They did not realise that they could and should pay the same for my brother, too and do not let pay me for him.

Or maybe that was no "poor" woman, it was a "different" one. She was much better as an engineer-scientist, because she was a rare woman.

[This means that there is no need to retalliate for decisions of others that you would never make in their shoes, because yours could be even worse. The other is not you, does not reason like you. Sometimes, in the attempt to correct our mistakes as we realise them rather late, we do worse. It is sometimes better to accept the consequences and be as neutral as possible. ].

And I am also a different car driver, I happened to reach far and foreign shores.